Hope and hopelessness from a friend who I know is sincere about walking with integrity...

Hey gang...I went out this morning to drive the kids to school and was confronted by -43C windchill (the actual temp being only a balmy -32C) and wondered why, oh why, am I still in this place. I know that in a breath it will be so hot I will be complaining I can't sleep at night etc. But, man, that seems so far off right now.

Life is the same, really. Still working. Still waiting for my bus at midnight on Portage Ave. Still making peanuts for all my effort. Still helping out with the Saturday service. Still meeting Cynthia on Thursday mornings to figure it out. Still ordering bacon& eggs, over easy, with rye toast and coffee. Still not paying (her idea). Still reading when I can. Still longing for nearness to God and a vision of Him yet untouched. Still wanting to find my spot. Still looking for my friends on AOL and never finding them, mostly because I check too late in the morning (still my fault). Still looking for Eoghan's new cd in mail. Still wanting to spend more time with my kids and still frustrated that it is not working out.

Wait!!! I just got my haircut! And it is a slightly different look...now that's different.

But, still wear a hat every minute of the day to stay warm. Still listen to Bob Dylan to cheer me up. Still think about writing a book and sometimes even start one, only to have it sabotaged by a faulty computer, etc. Still love Guinness although I never drink it anymore. Still want to hang out with my friends although...

Still believe the end is near...and often wish it would come a little quicker.

Hey, I still believe in sudden and unexpected change. I still expect a great turn in my life that will have me released into the true things I have been called and prepared for. I still believe that everything we have learned is crucial to the future...it must be significant for us. I still believe in God. I still believe God is good! I still am convinced that there will come a day when the church, wherever she exists (hiding or not) will emerge from it's collective slumber and apathy and choose(!!) to serve the King like we have not yet seen in history. No superstars, but power endowed to the masses in a way only dreamed about. No disease will stand before this people. Darkness, conveniently hiding behind our systems and logical thinking, will be flushed out and exposed for what it is and the war will be on...full blown. God will empower His people. They will know Him. The sacrifices will be small when compared with the reward of seeing the King and going with his plans and purposes. Their will be great rejoicing. Revelation 19 will happen. We might see it.....